Selfish VS selfless, which one will you let win?


selfish
Selfish VS selfless. It is the key to every relationship. Not just with your wife, g/f or friends. Also with work and anyone who you interact with. It is deeper than just those you see all the time as well. Even on the level of an individual person who you will never see again how you treat that interaction determines a lot of how the rest of your day may go.

Being selfless is hard. As humans we naturally tend to want everyone else to do things our way. If we do it a certain way than it must be the best way to go about it. Isn’t it? And this does not even mean that other people are wrong. But when they don’t accomplish goals and tasks the same we do, or would we can become upset.

On a simpler level is our day-to-day interaction with everyone in our sphere of influence. From the driver who wants to change lanes, the lines of traffic merging together leaving a sporting event or the person who you serve at work the level of selfishness we exert is going to have a big effect on our outlook, and attitude. It’s the whole butterfly effect idea. Hopefully when you slow down a bit to let someone in they will do the same and overall the traffic keeps moving (albeit at a reduced pace) instead of becoming stop and go. But being nice to people we won’t see again is almost the easiest thing to do. You won’t see them again. If they slight you it is much easier to brush off.

It’s the long-term relationships where it is so hard to accomplish the goal of selflessness. In family, wife/husband/girl friend/boy friend, co-workers. That is the real challenge in life. It is easy at the start. But than with time we build up resentment. We get butt hurt when we don’t get that same selflessness back. But that’s the real kicker isn’t it? Because at that moment we have switched from being selfless to being selfish. We don’t mean to. We don’t want to, and I think it causes the most problems.

I thought about this a lot last night, and today while working out. I don’t have a perfect answer. It maybe that there just simply is not one. We each must struggle every day to maintain that level of selflessness. Often times this means not saying what we think. The whole concept of being honest has been twisted into an excuse by people to just be an ass. “I’m not being mean. I’m being honest.” they claim in righteous indignation. Well some times, no often times in a relationship you have to judge things and then simple SHUT THE FUCK UP! Not everything needs to be said. Not everything needs to be done your way. Certainly there is a line in the sand that each person must draw for themselves. I am in no way saying we should all be walking doormats for each other. That is never the case. If someone is mistreating you walk away. Run away. No one has the right to mistreat others or should have to be mistreated. But in life, you have to be able to look at the bigger picture and try to see it all put together. Not just the moment you are in. That or go live in a cave by yourself and be a true hermit.

Our government would be a lot better if instead of just saying “it’s for the children” and other mantras of selflessness they actually practiced it.

Our personal lives would be better and so would our professional lives. Change does not happen overnight. But it does not happen by becoming what you want to change either. You have to stand up even if no one but you knows and take action to improve your life and the lives of those around you. Put your own desires aside, think of others. If all of us can do this, even just a bit, and have the goal in mind of always doing it you would see a much different picture each day. It can truly be accomplished without giving up what makes you “you”. It can be done without sacrificing the things you hold dear. True acceptance of others is hard to do but the rewards are great.